gHasTly

2009-04-01T01:23:00.002+08:00

so i realised.
and it came to me.
how i wish i could have taken control of my life since young
i really noe why its so impt to get into a very good primary school
frm the base.
it will lead to better things.
maybe 70% of the time.
but he beats coming frm a lousy china primary sch like mine
where a handful of ppl are a menace to society

getting to a good primary sch
would mean higher expectations
which would mean getting into a good sec sch
in turn to a good jc.

so i was.
topping class in pri sch.
but so wad.
compared to national, it's like so low

reading through elsa's blog
she blames whitley.
yea i blamed it too
having lousy physics teachers.
to banding wad english classes.
spend 10% of time walking to and fro classes wasting time.

i really wished i could have a better base to start wif
cuz its too late to regret..
just hvae to carry on wif wad has been started.

hard work
realli hard work
i need someone to spur mi on.
i need to find someone to motivate mi.

work has been boring these days
luckily i clinched some rents so i got some commission
not much though.
but still
money enters would bring a smile to me

i wan to start a business
anyone has a good suggestion?
shaun dreams of earning millons.
but he is nowhere now

2009-03-28T01:51:00.001+08:00

hi all.
sry dere aint post this past weeks.
means my life has been okay,
nothting emo to talk about.

well.
i need a better job now.
wad else.
aug comeing.
pls. let mi get into uni.

2007-01-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

i've been a happy kid this pass week ..
thanks to my frens and family .. =)

we'll go fer more food ! ..
yea .. eat and eat ..
dumbdumb wans mummum

2006-10-31T03:25:00.000+08:00

~No Promises~

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high
I don't want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

Here tonight

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high
I don't want to let go, girl.
I just need you you to know girl.

I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don't want to run away, I want to stay forever, through Time and Time..
No promises

I don't wanna run away, I don't wanna be alone
No Promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love

No promises

I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight.

2006-10-24T14:25:00.000+08:00

finally its all over ..
how sad can it be ..
michael schumacher retiring..
looks like f1 is dead ..
no longer will dere be overtakin the he does ..

2006-10-24T04:31:00.000+08:00

sittin on the ledge up dere alone ..
felt how much i missed you

2006-10-23T00:32:00.000+08:00

i swear ..
i didnt wan fer to to happen ..
but sadly i tink i have ..
my heart and mind ..
they are just constantly evolving ..
im afraid now ..

up the mountain here i go

2006-10-20T12:04:00.000+08:00

~welcome to the black parade~

When I was a young boy,
my Father took me into the city,
to see a marching band.

He said "Son when, you grow up,
will you be, the savior of the broken,
the beaten and the damned."

He said "will you defeat them,
your demons and all the non-believers,
the plans they have made."

Because one day I leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join the black parade."

Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go.
Through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.
When you're gone we want you all to know

We'll Carry on,
We'll Carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
Carry on
We'll carry on
And in my heart I cant contain it
The anthem wont explain it.

and we will send you reeling from decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all
So paint it black and take it back
Lets shout it loud and clear
do you fight it to the end
we hear the call to
to carry on
we'll carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
we'll carry on
and though you're broken and defeated
you're wiery widow marches on
and on we carry through the fears
ooh oh ohhhh

heres the poignant faces of you piers [?]
ooh oh ohhhh
take a look at me cos i could not care at all
do or die
you'll never make me
cos the world, will never take my heart
you can try, you'll never break me
want it all, i'm gonna play this part
wont explain or say i'm sorry
im not ashamed, i'm gonna show my scar
you're the chair, for all the broken [?]
lose it here, because it's only..
i'm just a man, i'm not a hero
just a boy, whos meant to sing this song
just a man, i'm not a hero
i, don't, care

carry on
we'll carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
we'll carry on
and though you're broken and defeated
you're wiery widow marches on
we'll carry on

~welcome to the black parade~

2006-10-18T02:36:00.000+08:00

though it seems to backfire .. but ..
to the classmate of mine ..
maybe im anti social ..
but u cant blame me ..
everytime i ask to do someting ..
everybody dun wanna . so its not my fault ..
sry im gg through loads now ..
and those were some emo tings i said ..
dun take it to heart kae ..
the class are a bunch of great ppl ..
just tt i dun tink i click wif u guys much ..

sometimes i feel very wrong ..
y do i keep accomodatin ppl ..
if i let go i noe id be happy and free ..
but if i do . many tings may happen ..
im letting everyting go now ..
ive decided ..
i will play the bad guy fer tis one mth .

you have so many faces ..
and now when i tink bout it ..
i realli dun noe whu you are ..
it scares mi most if it realli comes true ..
but u noe i'd be dere to stop it ..
cuz i noe it is not the right time ..

2006-10-16T04:09:00.000+08:00

suddenly i realised y i dun like sch ..
they like us force us to do tings ..
and i hate that very much!

partly so is my class..
they're a bunch of nice ppl
but other than tt dere is a break ..
never have we gone out togther ..
stayed back .. play or had fun ..
some1 asked mi y didnt i go fer grad ..
i realli didnt noe wad to respond ..
y? .. i just dun wanna give the ans
cuz i noe others would be takin pics
partying around..
but sadly not my class ..
everyone will just go back home ..
and i was so right wif tt ..
i realised i gt closer frens in my neighbouring classes den mine
maybe i just went to the wrong class .
i should have just opted out frm the beginning ..
all the "ifs" ..

yilong vick sy jia min nick ray ..
these were ppl whu made mi enjoy sch ..
yet none were my classmates
how everyting seems to happen but dun fit ..

realli ..
sometimes i just feel very sad..
yet deres no one i can turn too ..
hah .. i've grown used to it ..
nothin is fair in life ..
i was brought here to be made a fool off ..
onli if i had the courage ..
everyting would end peacfully now ..

y these bottles just cant give mi the high effect

2006-10-16T01:01:00.000+08:00

i have to carry on wif tis ..
though i long to see .. i cant .
not fer now ..
it onli makes mi tink of ..
yet it saddens mi as each days passes ..
how hard it is to focus ..
without any inspiration or motivation ..
i cant give up ..

2006-10-14T00:52:00.000+08:00

welome to the black parade..

last day of sch was fun ..
everting went according to planned ..
and i missed the grad ting ..
went studyin wif shing ernest kelly and her fren ..
considerin the fun i missed.
yet i knew i lagged severely behing ..
there was only 1 choice- hobson's choice ..
had to get out of sch to mug ..
finally the dust has settled ..
and im gonna impress all ..
well .. i dunno i can but i'd try ..

2006-10-11T03:34:00.000+08:00

hey phy .. pls be my fren ..
induction .. nuclear .. magnetic ..
newton .. faraday .. lenz ..
pls help mi ..
i realli need to master tis sub ...
i'm just dead tired after all this ..

2006-10-10T22:26:00.000+08:00

fun laughter and joy ..
words tt seem to distant in the past ..
but its coming back to me now ..
muggin muggin mugging ..
wif ppl whu are close to u ..

2006-10-08T23:44:00.000+08:00

i'll live a new life once again ..
=)

2006-10-08T00:59:00.000+08:00

muggin and mugging ..
boring! ..
ha .. mum cooked bird nest ..
i tink everyting needs to be halted ..
yup .. the world shall contine after As ..

2006-10-06T00:45:00.000+08:00

yeah ..
its fri again! ..
and no sch day fer mi ..
im gonna study real hard 2day ..
ltr when i get up ..
phy and chem ..
i noe im gonna conquer u ..
just 4 weeks left ..
shudder..

2006-10-03T22:12:00.000+08:00

now i realli feel like giving up ..
everywhere around me ..
my family ..
frens ..
sch ..
im beginning to feel damm frustrated ..
i dunno anyting anymore ..
all i wan now is to leave ..
away fren everyone ..
stop forcing mi to do everyting ..
im realli tired. .
im gonna break down soon ..
i'll sae goodbye soon and to the rest of this world

2006-10-01T17:11:00.000+08:00

oyrenoeolutnyahe
i dun quite know ..
how to sae ..
how i feel ..
now .

just like everythin tt has happened ..
tis is just another lesson fer mi ..

2006-09-28T02:32:00.000+08:00

what more can i sae ? ..
after all there is nothing much left fer me ..
i just wanna leave here ..
and lead a peacful life somewhere else ..
in a lakehouse next to a mountain ..

2006-09-26T03:25:00.000+08:00

just like a bubble it was meant to burst ..
life is strange .. complicated ..
grown up so much frm tis pass year..
so much all of us have gone through ..
sorrow happiness hardship do we learn ..
dere is always a chance fer everyting to happen ..
so do not just assume ..
maybe it is best tis way now ..
but we do not noe wad the future lies ..
so be strong .. and live life ..
tink sucide is the best way?
once, i tot of it. now it seems silly
how i wish everyting could be normal again ..
but no longer can it happen ..
we can make do wif what we have now ..
it will still be the same but somehow differnt..
the contradiction in life ..
the irony to live ..

so what the heart shattering to a billion pieces
gotta piece it slowly back togther again ..
bit by bit ..
findin oneself again ..
findin how to love and live life again ..
it would will eventually heal and close
but scar would be dere. forever
it is how u learn to live and cope wif it tt is impt
and not hang suspended in time ..

just be happy everyone
nothin much i sae now can make a differnce
period.

2006-09-25T00:34:00.000+08:00

you just you..
i can give myself up fer you ..
laughter cries shout smiles ..

sometimes i wonder..
all that has been said ..
issit true? ..

2006-09-23T20:21:00.000+08:00

stay over at kelly's hse ..
just the fun i need now ..

2006-09-21T21:44:00.000+08:00

if i were to tell u tis ..
i wonder wad will happen ..
pondering .. just pondering ..

sometimes sitting down to chat just brings back loads of tings

2006-09-20T09:47:00.000+08:00

y cant nobody undertstand ..
i just cant study in sch ..
everyting dere is so useless ..
onli when i mug and dun understand will i find my teachers ..
the past 2 years .. even in sec sch ..
i doubt i was learning much in sch ..
i gussed im just too relient on tution ..
in the pasy everyting was taught by my tution teacher..
guess i gt so used to 1 to 1 ..
i cant study as a class ..
concentrate or pay attention fer too long ..
wad we do in class -- joking playin toking ..
lessons go so slow and everyone jokin ..
how can i concentate den ? ..
i noe i'm no angel ..
i noe i'm not smart ..
all these may be excuses but im trying my best ..
i noe i can stay home and mug myself ..
away frm all those stress-play-jokes ..
so y doesnt any1 realise tt ..
exams arent far away..
and sch is like til 6 everyday ..
where will i get the strength to study after tt ..
i dun mind gg to sch if it ends at like 12 like the rest ..
but mine is just so horrendous ..
zapping every bit of energy out of mi ..
muggin to the wee hrs wun help as faitgue will set in the nxt day ..
so how? .. i dunno ..
i must go to sch? ..
bullshit ...
everyone .. all of u . gg crazy soon . make my headspin

2006-09-17T19:13:00.000+08:00

the unpredictability ..
how everyting can change in an instant ..
dere goes my weekend again ..
the muggin weekend we're having for so long ..
i lonng fer it .. i wish it would come sonner ..
im tired.. exhausted ..
how studyin wif dem make mi like mugging ..
the web of tots around ..

i just wanna travel round the world ..
to the place wif lights in th skies at nite ..
rae told mi its in canada ..
i wanna go to antartica ..
see the penguins and polars ..
i wanna be at the carribeans ..
i wish i hope ..

2006-09-16T10:43:00.000+08:00

yesterady nite was great ..
it had been a long time since ..
everyone except jia was dere ..
chattin slacking winning ! ...
haha .. was like old times ..
but how times are so unreal ..
another 2 mths we'll have As ..
just a short period to relieve our stress ..
A

2006-09-14T23:57:00.000+08:00

hey ..
i guess im no stressed ..
but im more frustrated ..
i am so annoyed ..
i feel so much anguish inside mi ..
y cant every1 just leave mi alone ..
let mi study at on my own ..
my own pace .. my own will ..
where i wan .. when i wan ..
i am so angry ..
i am so depressed ..
any1 out dere..
help mi ..
im gonna die soon ..

2006-09-11T20:59:00.000+08:00

for all the decisions i made ..
tis shall be one of the most impt ..

went townin just now ..
realised i am a mountain tortoise man ..
still deres tings out dere i hvaen seen .
ha ..
fer now .. i'll concentrate on studying ..
cyas ..
happy muggin =)

2006-09-09T02:30:00.000+08:00

today was somewhat special ..
a gathering marked the end of holis ..
mh kelly mel boon ernest shing des mi ..
somehow it was strange ..

and my house is in a mess after a week of study ..
was sick fer the whole week .
spoiled my entire plans ..
cant believe i studied wif mel and often wif mh the whole week ..
the rest drops by once in a while ..

finally winning would end ..
as ps is finally gone ..

strange it seems i didnt get to see some ppl .
well .. still coughin my way thorugh the nite ..
i shall end tis holi ..
a fruitful and memorable one ..
one wif full of muggin.. full of winning and full of jokin ..

good luck guys fer yr prelims ..
study hard shing fer yr promo .. =)

2006-09-07T23:21:00.000+08:00

the countless of dreams these past nites ..
how real all seems ..
have realli showed mi a new dimension ..
maybe i should drop off tis hope ..
or minimise it ..
else i would remain stagnant here forever ..
should i or shouldnt i ..

2006-09-07T01:27:00.000+08:00

for once, i realli feel like givin up ..

2006-09-06T00:49:00.000+08:00

happy birthday shi ying !! ... =)

2006-09-05T09:45:00.000+08:00

i was havig fever thses few days ..
wad i dun like to be sick is the weariness ..
hah .. had couple of funni dreams these past nites ..
saw many ppl in it .. cool man ..
hah ..
well .. been muggin to a great extent ..
learning to forget much and contine ..
expectation of my life is high ..
and i will strive to get to ..
i will not hang suspended here ..
in tis desolated .. place im in now .

i hope i'll that the someday will come ..
now i got to concentrate on my studies ..
i'll slowly strive hard fer tt special someting .
but den .. it is oso up to the one

2006-09-05T04:34:00.000+08:00

see how life is so unpredictable ..
just in an instant ..
he died ...
the past adventures which were so much more deadly ..
he survived ..
realli . watchin he as i grow up ..
his braverly to educate ppl ..
his courage to catch snakes crocs ..
just to teach ppl round the world bout animals ..
and den .. he just died ..
so suddenly ..
out of the love of his daughter ..
yes .. piereced through his heart ..
the barb of a stingray ..
no longer can he produce such entertaining shows ..
yes .. its steve irwin
goodbye ..
you'll not be forgotton ..

2006-09-02T01:49:00.000+08:00

i dun tink i'll look much into it ..
but yup ...
i failed my prelims ..
ppl sae it determines yr As ..

well i duno .
i seriusly dunno ..
im loST ..
the word LOST ..
even miss ho said tt ..
everyting in a whirl ..

i tot i put everyting into place.
yet it was the self denial tt set it ..
by letting go ..
wad must i set free ..
onli myself noes justice ..
but i realli cant find tt ans ..

i guess no1 would understand mi ..
not even anyone close ..
cause i dun even understand myself ..
i dun even noe dem ..
i realised i failed miserably ..
so what if i keep deciving ppl ..
i noe inside mi everyting is in a mess ..

no more time line .. no more deadline ..
i'll slowly try to find "him" back ..
the lost mi ..

2006-08-31T23:04:00.000+08:00

suspension in time ..
yet it ticks away ..
justice will strike the balance ..

believe or not it all sounds real ..
doubt in everyting will not have a postive outcome ..
how hard one strive ..

wad said just now realli made mi wake up ..
shook mi ..
making mi believe AGAIN..
cuz the motivation to succeed was lost long ago ..
i've gt 2 more mths .
im ready to go ..
realli ..
the past behind mi ..
u guys can help mi stay awake ..

2006-08-31T04:16:00.000+08:00

somtimes i realli feel lost ..
somehow the closness seem lost ..
everybit makes mi irritated ..
i dunno ..
i guessed i changed ..
fer the worse i tink ..
i'll hope to change ..
getting impatient irritated unneccessarily ..
man i just hope the world comes to a stndstill .
tangled up in tis web of intricate ambiguity ..

im very sure it will rain tml ..
haha.. i mean ltr in the moring ..
its been happpening every yaer fer teachers day ..

heart.. soul .. brain ..
all havin problems

2006-08-28T01:05:00.000+08:00

i doubt it will happen ..
its gettin bleaker everyday ..
sigh ..
the signs are fading
y cant fate just help ..
is tis onli just mi ? ..

i wonder.. ponder..
how i wish ..

2006-08-27T01:44:00.000+08:00

im hungry ...
HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY !!!

day of bowling and muggin ..
i seriously need to get some stuff ..
i hvaen been spending fer so long ..
and i guessed it should be the right time ..
i caught a poOh 2day usin a dollar !! omg .
haha .. and we named it chubo .. lol

yawns ..
mentaaally drained now ..
NITEs to everyone around ..

2006-08-24T23:52:00.000+08:00

u tink its my wish to get FFFs ..
no ..
i am irritated .. pissed ..
i swear i could burn the hse down if it werent fer mi ..

2006-08-23T12:06:00.000+08:00

had a nice dream again ..
too bad the alarm sounded and poof it went .
sigh ..
onli if it were true ...

2006-08-21T00:04:00.000+08:00

crazy man ..
not enough kids ? .. haha .
obviously wif the increasing standard of living ..

i tink my sch is gettin dumb and dumber ..
hope these 2 mths and past quickly ..
and i never would wan to go back dere again

2006-08-20T01:02:00.000+08:00

haha ..
we were tinkin of songs ..
and suddenly rae pop up wif only love ..
yar the song by trademark ..
so long le..
yet the song still lingers in my mind ..

walkin home was pleasent ..
met tis indian guy whu chatted wif mi ..

how i wish singapore could be like antartica .
walkin under the skies filled wif stars ..
barely can we see dem in sg ..
i wish to travel the world ..
wish to just sit under the stars ..
enojoying the brezze

2006-08-19T01:46:00.000+08:00

haha .. i noe im gonna sound emo ..
but i still wanan sae tis ..
after reading through some mails ..
i finally realised how frens are so impt ..
through the years .. i realli made many good frens ..
haha .. but whu are those whu should be treasured ?
sometimes tis doubts linger in my mind ..

a small boy crossin a road wif his frens ..
all were crossin at the same time ..
but he was the slowest ..
a car came racing..
his frens ran ..
but he didnt .. i didnt even notice ..
no1 stopped to save him ..
these were his suposed good frens ..
period

fast forward to the present ..
yep .. so many ppl i wanna thank .
not realli thank lar .. but i appreciate ..
i dun wanna name names ..
i would be held biased against sometimes ..
maybe deres to much ..
haha..
still shaun would always be dere..
i dunno ..
anyting could happen anytime ..
ppl could just die and not leave a word..
this fast and furious cat race may abruptly be brought to an end ..

the boy however did not die ..
he could not die . he must not die
cuz in his heart lies tis special someone ..
until the special someone knows of it ..
he will continue living ..
how he survived ? .. no one noes ..
an angel .. a fairy .. his will .. his determination ..
in spite of all the rumours ..
he lived to tell the tale ..

2006-08-18T15:41:00.000+08:00

man ..
i tink i completely flunked it ..
could onli do the ones i studied ..
the rest was horrendous ..
sighhs ..
the next one will follow a similar fate ..
not tt i dun wanna do well .
i dun have the time ..
stats on mon will be a killer ..

the straight papers ..
and both i gave a great comment fer ans ..
crazy que ..
yesterday was on vectors .
2day was on nmr .. sigh ..
mon on stats ? .. ahaha .. hope not

2006-08-15T23:47:00.000+08:00

start of prelims ..
fuckin screwed ..
tis will be my last 4 papers where i fail ..
did JUST DO IT 2day ..
had nothin else to write ..
how lame can it get ..

2006-08-13T00:48:00.000+08:00

dere's meterio garden now .. aka liu xing hua yuan ..
haha.. how long has tt been ..
watchin the show brought back memories ..
still remembered they're the 1s chinese grp i listen to ..
so long has past ...
5 years to be exact ..
now .. im not in chi songs .. haha ..

had a day of muggin ..
we did it at braddel mac ..
realli we can be considered as the embassardors of mac ..
hhaa .. yawns ..
been dere the WHOLE week ..
yea .. fer mi is the whole week ..
frm j8 to braddell .. haha
the long hrs have certinaly taken its toll on mi ..
yet wif the frens im wif ..
i doesnt realli matter ..
studied and played around ..
how i wish my prelims weren't so near ..
sighh ..
time fer books again tml ..

2006-08-12T01:58:00.000+08:00

too my good ole fren haha ..
i will not do anyting stupid ..
=)

2006-08-12T00:57:00.000+08:00

studyin muggin ..
im tired and dead .. haha ..
eventful day 2day ..

every story .. dere'll always to two sides ..
never will dere be a single side ..
wadevr the story is definately biased ..
its up to the individual to piece up the pieces ..

i guess i've all along been tryin to decieve myself ..
finally i learnt it 2day ..
to be in the world of self denial ? ..
or face up to reality ? ..
i cant deny tt fact ..
but i must change ..

2006-08-09T13:09:00.000+08:00

happie birthday singapore !! .. haha

my fav place to be ..
although small and boring .
but other places arent tt good ..

2006-08-08T13:56:00.000+08:00

argh ..
i wanna bowl but no1 is free ..
so sian ..
decied to skip sports day ..
ive tired studyin but my mind's too tired ..
i duno .
maybe i'll find some1 go study wif mi ..

i seriously hate A levels ..

2006-08-06T13:41:00.000+08:00

seeing u makes my day
tokin to u calms my soul
seeing u laugh makes mi laugh too ..

so is it just mi?
or is tis just a dream tt is waiting to be shatterted again ..
i hope not ..
the reason for mi not doin anyting ..
im afraid .. tired ..
even i doubt myself ..
so y cant others ..

anyway ..
had a nice dream last time ..
though the recollections of it seems vauge ..
just happy memories i tink ..
time to go muggin ..
time to move on frm all this

2006-08-06T01:55:00.000+08:00

slowly and surely ..
im beginning to like studyin ..
went mac to do tt jsut now ..
haha ..
des and mh still here playin at tis hr ..
sian ..
next week gonna be a mug week again ..
well .. my prelims are here ..

2006-08-04T23:52:00.000+08:00

sch tis week has been fun man ..
muggin and muggin .. omg ..
onli time in my life i remeber doing tis ..
sian ..
well .. sch is gettin on well ..
recieved merit award fer cca ..
haha .. and i refused to take pic wif vp when collect cert ..
cool man ..

went vilage to celebrate des bdade .. haha ..
food and more food ..
fun .. but too bad was so fast ..
cant every moment be like tt ?..
went des void deck and wif mh we had wine ..
civilsied ppl man ..
chattin and tokin cock ... haha ..
den tis man came and ask fer a cigratte !! .
omg lar.. do we look like ppl whu smoke ?..
bloody faggot ..
and wad is tis society coming too anyway ..
mh almost gave him e international sign .. haha ..
sian ..
well tts all fer the week ..
prelims gettin nearer ..
and its like so sian ..
hope everyting will pass by smoothly ..

2006-07-30T00:22:00.000+08:00

seashells by the seashore ..
sadly .. dere arent any ..
another day wasted ..
the beach was so boring ..
walking alone .. staring at the skies filled wif stars ..
if u were dere.. it could be perfect ..
seems like fate dun seem to be ..

2006-07-29T00:15:00.000+08:00

im here now ..
guessed wad ..

im suffering frm over stress and pressure ..
my prelims are in like 1 week and im so not prepared ..
trying to do the ques ..
i get stucked wif almost all ..
revising through my subjects ..
just finised a mediocre of 4 chapts a sub ..

i dunno ..
i just cant handle it anymore ..
i tot i could .
i was mistaken ..
i can just break down anytime ..
i can just cry my heart out if u asked mi too ..

im tryin to work very hard ..
but so many are dere to put u down ..
sch ending so late ..
wad can i do? ..

so little time fer self revision ..
so much rubbish in sch ...
so much rubbish around mi ..

should i go bball tml ? ..
should i go fer bbq tml ? ..
should i just hide and study ? ..
should i concentate ? ..

my mind's in a whirl ..
my life is just threatening to be torn apart ..
alredy in pieces ..
i will not let it be torn to bits ..

arghhH ..
so much to do .. so little time ..
well i can mutter on ..
just tt i dun hvae the energy ..
im tired ..
real tired ..
can i take tis torture much longer ?..

im fallin down soon ..
will u hold my hand and pick mi up ?
im sick ..
im dying ? ..
will u save mi ?

2006-07-26T23:43:00.000+08:00

haha ..
time to muggin muggin soon ..
yep .. pressure is now on mi to do well in As ..
been a realatively mixed week ..
had a misfortune to see __ 3 days in a row ..
realli seems strange to look at the side ..
hhaa .. how rotton can my luck be ..
yep .. and had some stupid tok 2day ..
full of irony and contradictions to mi ..
well .. tis controvories aint new in i guess ..
the black crowing away ..
the bitch yeppin again ..
cca awards tt are so "great" .. hah
arghh .
spare mi the agony and pain ..
though it has oso been fun ..
studyin wif my class .. playin soccer ..
hanging out wif my good frens in sch ..
talkin and studyin away ..
hiaz .. these moments are slowly diminishing
not long now b4 we leave tis suxy place ..
good bye u noe .. i wun miss it ..
onli just the great frens and teachers ..

2006-07-22T00:03:00.000+08:00

last few weeks posts have been all bout downsides of sch or in life ..
haha .
finally ..
i have managed to come up wif someting positive ..

cute ritez ..
my fren and i drew during lec ..

yep ..
a great day 2day ..
despite having an uncler in my throat ..
YEA! .. fucking painful man ..
besides tt .. we went towning 2day ..
frm somerset to cityhall ..
and ended up eatin at newyork newyork ..
yup .. a new joint at citilink ..

mi vick ray and yl

jm and sy

josh and nick ..
double trouble .. lol

finally able to get my slippers ! ..

and finally ...

someone actually corrected the english .. haha
see the add 't at the do

2006-07-20T01:41:00.000+08:00

the unjust world ..
wars aplenty ..
decisons unjustified ..
mistakes commited ..
for peace of the world ?..
it may never happen ..
many colour race and religions .
given the stupidity of mankind ..
peace and harmony will nv befall on earth ..
all talks of peace are rubbish ..
ever dere would be peace .
onli when wars fighting and racism stops ..

2006-07-19T20:23:00.000+08:00

been slpin fer 18 hrs a day ... ahaha.
so unusual fer mi ..
guess my body its very tired le ..
been drinkin water barley and green tea ..
yet my sore throat hasnt recovered ..
still down wif fever ..
sian ..
cant go out .. cant go to see ..
damm bored at home .. yawnss ..

haha .. anyways ..
happy birthday shuyan ...

2006-07-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

haha ..
im havin fever .. omg ..
feelin damm sick ..
and hate tis feeling ..
always wanted to be sick ..
now tt i have it .. its dreadful ..
went off sch at 10 and went see doc ..
after tt .. slpet the whole day ..
which was thoroughly disturbed ..
by calls frm many ppl..
well .. the idea of not gg sch tml is nice ..
but i would rather go den be in the state tt i am

2006-07-16T01:45:00.000+08:00

i noe e reason fer the increase in sucide caeses among students ...
it is all buz of PARENTS ..
am im gonna be one of dem if tis goes on ..

well.. life goes on anyways ..
til i am stuck at that crucial juncture ..
whu noes? .. it would be a tough choice ..

2006-07-15T01:28:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel ..
like some ppl just gt those tings ..
i noe i have tings i wanted
yet and but ..the tings i dearly wan are sorely missing ..
it may be due to my lack of wanting to ..
maybe i am afraid to ask fer it ..
or maybe it is just dere to confuse mi ..

in such a short time .. everyone has changed ..
sometimes .. i cant sae tt i is for the better..
is being too close will lead to deterioation of frenship ? .
or issit just my wild imagination running havoc again ..

life noes no boundaries ..
time passes by so fast ..
just wanting to stop .. and tink back ..
i would be such a headache ..

i noe i wan it ..
yet im afraid to go out and reach fer it ..
im afriad i'll lose it forever..

2006-07-14T00:13:00.000+08:00

pls just give mi some peace
~the imperfection~

2006-07-11T00:17:00.000+08:00

dere he was ..
standind among the bed of thorn roses ..
bleeding ..
the tiresome goodbye ..
amassed frm the centureis of isolation ..
greeted by the bright darnkness around him ..

2006-07-10T17:48:00.000+08:00

yup . and italy gt the cup ..
wasnt tt difficult wasnt it ..
decided to skip sch 2day ..
rushin to finish all my hw ..

2006-07-07T11:58:00.000+08:00

such is the condition of the "institution" ..
i realli hate it . .
argh . another reason to groan and mock the sch ..
which fucking sch lets a class end at 12.30 and students aren't allowed to go home ..
i'm so fuckin irrated ..
the guard is a complete idiot .. fool ..
though he is not a fault but yar ..
unlike the old ones .
tis one is dumb .. following instructions frm the lesast capable of princpal ..
all the happenings are getting damm irritating ..
pissing mi up so much ..
the gay, bitch , coloured and old hag ..
all deserved to be shot ..

wadever to dem ..
on a lighter note ..
frens in sch seems to be great ..
exception frm some ppl in my class tt is ..

anyways
happie 18th bdae rae !!

2006-07-06T19:56:00.000+08:00

hey ..
i noe i didnt do well ..
just pls stop adding to the fire ..
i'm frustrated ..
i'm the one suffering here . not u ..
u dunno how much i have gone through ..
fighting wif my my inner emotions every nite ..
will u onli be happy if i died ..
i dunno ..
im all confused inside ..
im tired.. sick .. yet i have to go on ..
i cant please everybody ..
i'll have to ignore many frm now on ..
maybe im scared ..
we'll see ..

2006-07-03T20:53:00.000+08:00

yup .. i guess its the end ..
end of playing i mean .. haha ..
time to study again ..
relunctanly but a must ..
have to catch up wif last year's work ..
i'm gonna As my exams ..
no more of those mediocre grades ..

had a great day at the beach .. haha ..
though was extremely hot ..
but we cycled frm east coast cove to changi village ..
yar .. damm far lar .. but great exercise ..
ltr went to bugis arcade and they played some stupid sweets game ..
exhaustion has set in now ..
w0as a great day man ..

sadly sch starts tml ..
been so reluctant to go sch ..
reasons fer it is multiplyin everyday ..
dun wanna go to the details ..
but yea can ask mi if u wan to noe ..
can list 10 without tinking ..

world cup is coming to an end ..
finally losers- england was sent packing home ..
hope italy wins now ..
and portugal would thrash the hells out of the bloody french gays ..
how disappointed when the gay dived to get a freekick
which led to france scoring against spain ..
but in everyting dere would sure to be controversies ..
well .. we'll just to adapt to dem ..

2006-06-30T00:04:00.000+08:00

yeah .. finally ...
the end of the dreaded tests ..
well it has done nothin to boost my confidence realli ..
somehow i feel i've just stagnated ..
yup .. time to pick myself up again ..
had a fun day 2day ..
watched scary movie ..
and even gt a phone frm my mum .. haha ..
so tired frm stayin up so late the past weeks ..
nites ..
lucks to the rest having tests

2006-06-29T02:03:00.000+08:00

arghh ..
i cant slp .. omg ..
been in bed fer 2 hrs le ..
decided to come check news ..
hiza .. its getting very annoying now ..

2006-06-25T21:27:00.000+08:00

had a bad headache 2day ..
didnt get to study much ..
i doubt i'll do well fer tis exam ..
hope nobody blames mi ..
i have already tried ..
i guessed it was too late ..
i realised it just happnened to soon ..
too soon fer me to grasp hold ..
too soon for me to overcome it ..
i promise i will not make tt first move any time soon ..
guess i will have to holdback my wish ..
maybe even forget bout it ... =(

"funny when you find yrself looking frm the outside"
"everyting seems to fall in place"

2006-06-25T01:08:00.000+08:00

tis sums it all up
suffering frm the

pre-blocktest-worldcupping symdrome

2006-06-24T01:25:00.000+08:00

wad a great heavy downpour ..
walkin under it ..
washin away all those sorrow ..
how perfect a timing it could be ..
cold yet every drop was soothing ..
still im yet to decide ..
i noe tis wish would not come true ..
should i even try fer it ? ..

2006-06-24T00:18:00.000+08:00

had a great chat wif my twin ..
haha ..
guess my twin is correct ..
thanks ...
guess i'll reget tis decision ..
but its the best option left

another day ofi studyin ..
im so bored..
i hope i ends soon ...

2006-06-22T01:56:00.000+08:00

yup .. studied the whole of 2day ..
erm i mean yesterday ..
have to mug again ltr .. hiaz ..
realised it soon will be 2 mths le ..
haha .. time realli flies man ..
a fren just came and asked mi someting ..
well .. not the prettiest of tings but hey ..
we both suffered to the same predictement ..
yep .. hope u got over it . haha =)
in life dere's so many possibilties ..
yup .. so be open and positive kkae ..
learning is everyting in life ..
so .. be happie and look ahead ... cheers man

2006-06-21T00:36:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel so compressed. .
im so sry to some ppl fer my silly decisions ..
i dunno how to realli sae no to someone ..
gues i'll hvae to learn soon ..
exams coming ..
yet im so unprepared..
is my life turning upside down ?

well .. im feeling the pressure ..
and im gonna study at tis odd hour ..
which i dun normally do ..
due to inspiration by some ppl ... haha
i will do well fer As.. i noe it ..
just tt im not ready fer tis exam ..

2006-06-20T19:08:00.000+08:00

wad ia perfect day 2day ...
had breakfast and studied wif a good fren
but it gt to me tt im realli laggin behind..
she's already doin tys while im stuck wif tutorial .. hiaz..
ltr .. went to boon hse to vist him ..
yup and he's recovering well frm his chicken pox ..
finally went j8 to meet kat ernest and des ..
met mel dere too .. lol ...
wad a great day ..
and yup .. took a bus ride frm boon hse to j8 which brought back some memories ..
well those are the past ..
its time to look into the future ..

2006-06-19T14:49:00.000+08:00

wad a dream i had last nite ...
how to celebrate yr bdae .. hahas ..

2006-06-17T15:02:00.000+08:00

its realli been hell of a week ..
im so tired ..
even more than when in sch ..
world cup and studyin realli take take its toll ..
yup and to everyone concern ..
shaun here is studying ..
tryin very hard to study ..
i dun hvae that long an attention spend ..
making it worse is my playfulness ..
thx fer constantly reminding mi to study ..
and nagging mi to study ..
i hope u guys will keep reminding mi ..
dunno y but its so hard to concentrate fer long period these days ..
hope everyting would fall into place soon ..
and i shall be a muggerholic soong ..
haha

2006-06-16T02:08:00.000+08:00

a laughin stock the person is ..
how stupid i was .. tinking back..
soon to be ostracised ...
the right for the peron to be ..
should i ever be tis way ..
somtimes dere isnt forgive and forget ..
sometimes hate is the best solution ..
but through time ..
i will just turn in memories ..
memories to laugh at ...

yup .. fate realli brings ppl 2gther ..
after much tot .. meeting a person on a street is realli very unprobable ..
just tink of the millions of ppl in the world .
and walkin down the street u saw tis person ..
haha .. probablily is 1/99999972829227 ..
facy meetin an old fren after 12 on a bus ..

but still i onli wan to be wif just tis one other person now

2006-06-13T00:17:00.000+08:00

a fortune guy told my mum ..
"yr son can study .. onli tt he is easily distracted .."
haha .. lol .. like wth ..
anyone can study ...
i noe i am easily distracted ..
im trying to curb it now ..
but doesnt every feel tis way ..
sometimes i tink these fortune tings are bullshit ..
i dunno ..
i will not noe ..
its just my opinion ...
i am starting to feel very alone these days ..
im not sure y ..
sure i perfer to be let alone fer now

2006-06-09T22:11:00.000+08:00

yup .. finally ..
the turn of events i've been hoping wishin fer..
friends ..
friendship realli does takes a long time to build ..
maybe it could be destroyed instantly ..
but i have great friends whu realli treasure these tings ..
people sometimes do make mistakes ..
some may be big .. while some may be minor ..
although it took awhile ..
i guess its beginning to heal ..
maybe i being naive or oblivious ..
i duno .. its just my tots

yup and next ..
it has been a mixed year fer mi
i have changed alot i supposed ..
not as noisy as usual ..
not as cheerful as before ..
i've been trying very hard ..
just that dere are more tings now ..
being more exposed
and it has made mi tink deeper ..
sometimes being nice just dun work ..
those tings that happened so recently ..
i'm beginnign to grab hold of myself ..
i know i've been deciving myself and others ..
its true that deep down it hadn't healed ..
but its near yet dere'll be a scar
like my sis said - you've got to live wif some tings forever ..

2006-06-09T21:33:00.000+08:00

You scored as Journalism. You are an aspiring journalist, and you should major in journalism! Like me, you are passionate about writing and expressing yourself, and you want the world to understand your beliefs through writing.

Journalism

92%

English

83%

Mathematics

75%

Theater

75%

Art

67%

Sociology

67%

Linguistics

67%

Psychology

67%

Philosophy

67%

Chemistry

58%

Engineering

58%

Dance

50%

Anthropology

50%

Biology

42%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

haha .. guess wad ...
i doubt i'll be a journalist ...
still i guess psychology is better fer mi ..
i dunno ..
well .. the future is dere fer the taking ..
however .. everyting seems dark now ..

2006-06-08T21:15:00.000+08:00

its been a long time ..
thx so much fer celebrating my birthday ..
des jia cb mel kat ernest ... fer wanting to give mi the surprise ..
and deres mh and elsa fer yr banana .. haha ..
yup .. not forgetting yilong vick shuyan and jiamin fer yr cake ..
guess its realli been a great birthday despite such a year ..
finally i've put those tings to rest ..
those shall be memories ..
and i'll find myself back again
my birthday wish has oso been fufilled ..
again we're all frens again ..
after waiting fer so long
though dere'll still be some tesion.. its a starting step ..

wad if he like someone tt aint suspose to be ..
should he give her up ..
or try to tell her ..

2006-05-29T14:47:00.000+08:00

yea ..
not been bloggin fer some time ...
had to sit down and reflect lar ..
everytings over now ..
my mind is now at ease, hopefully
the testimonial match yersterday went well ..
finally back to my home ground - CSC ..
despite some distractions by a ruinning banana ..
everyting was great ..
laughin bonding .. playing ..
getting to noe the j1s .. and getting closer to the rest ..
i gt 2nd in the tournament .. haha ..
miss lim was first .. lol ..
had a high game of 211 ..
everyting was so cool ..
yet still have those moments of anguish ..
my mind is thoroughly sorted out already ..
sometimes i cant help but break down ..
but it's a normal fer mi i guess ..
went pasta and chatted after tt ..
and tt ends a memorable nite ..

now life goes on ..
2 weeks of sch is a bore ..
sry mh .. i cant go bowl wif u and ernest now ..
haha .. i'm in sch studying ..
partly bcuz im lazy and i need to save money ..
so yup ..
back to studying ..
hope to see everyone soon ..

2006-05-25T20:40:00.000+08:00

finally its over ..
everyting tts happened in the past mths ..
will and have been consigned to the past ..
getting past those trainings and these competition days ..
have been so gruelling and draining ..
ppl whu were dere ..
the norms des kat ernest jia boon mel mh elsa shing rae auntie etc ..
den yilong shuyan jiamin vicky nick ..
haha ..
how fun they've been ..
studyin in sch wif dem .. playing joking ..
weird stuff tt my good frens will not do ..
finally beginning to enjoy yj .. haha ..

amazingly so .. my frens were saeing tt mel is my sis ..
haha .. after 6 years and i didnt notice ..
do we look the same ? ..
haha i'm not bimbo lei . lol ..

2006-05-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

im physically tired ..
mentally drained ..
all that i have trained fer..
will end tml ..
but tml will oso be the beginning ..
to get better ..
yup ... it will be the end of a journey ...
end of yjc bowlin team 06 ..
littered wif wonderful ..
yet painful moments ..
just tis last bit of strength i have ..
to go fer my all tml ..
after which i will collaspe .. even break down
no1 will care realli ..
i will just sit dere alone ..
reflecting on these past mths ..
tml .. yes wondering tml
doubt dere'll be any1 to support us ..
well .. grew to it ..
depending on ourselves now ..
cuz of selfishness around mi ..
the spirit is gone ..
nv felt such fake yet optismistic feeling before ..
the disapperance of the key that could have propelled us forward
we could have done well ..
we would have excelled ..
yet tradegy befell ..
now its gone ..
nv to be felt again ..
all "could" ...
but can i predict tt tis wun go wrong if everyting was rite ? ..
NO .. so dere's no use in would ..
its just a word fer the hopefuls ..
yes .. i used to believe ..
tt miracle will happen ..
i've grown wiser..
i noe such tings dun exist ..
a painful birthday i will hvae tis year ..
just hiding myself frm everyone

2006-05-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

yupp .. just bought my nano ..
haha .. after savin fer like 5 mths lar ..
guess after those refection ..
i start to noe myself better ..
whenever i am not right ..
i'll go on a spending spree .
and not .. its the nano ..
just like how i bought my those shoes and my crumpler bag ..
hiaz ..
guess i'll hvae to buy another bag now ..
dun tink i'll buy a phone now ..
but how i wish i could hvae her back ..
but i noe i wun ..
nv will it happen .. =(
2day A'div was terrible ..
i was just terribly affected emotionally ..
i've tried very hard ..
i'm so sry to the team ..
haha .. i guess i've let everybody down ..
i'll be strong soon ...
i promise ..
i so mentally tired now ..
how i wish i hvae $$ ..
i would go 2 another place and start all over again ..
away frm everyone else ..
lookin at all of these reminds mi of those memories ..
i dunno ...
i guessed im not the stong type of person ..
id just hide away ..
i'll go as far as i can ..
starting afresh seems like estacy ..

2006-05-21T00:11:00.000+08:00

just came back frm playing tennis ..
des mh and i ... haha ...
damm cool lar ..
we're onto every possible sport ..
kinda of tired now .. weary ..
just like tis feelin of tiring myself out ..
so as u not to ....
yep .. another day wasted like tt ..
caught da vinci code yesterday ..
long time since we went out wif mel ...
me jia des boon ernest kat mel ...
the show was not up to expectation i guess ..
the plot .. flow .. expression wasnt dere ..
sound kinada like gp now ... haha
the self torture part was the coolest ..
the rest was just plain ordinary ..
well caught mi3 .. da vinci .. poseidon ..
guess i better get back to my books soon ..
comepetition is ending soon ..
though i didnt do well ..
guess deres no1 to blame but mi ..
i could have ruled to be her's ..
but after much reflection ..
the problem lies wif mi ..
i could just forget it and go on ..
but no i cant .. my heart doesnt seem to listen ..
i hope it does soon ..
the last 6 games ..
hope i can realli prove to everyone ..
but the biggest one is - me ...

2006-05-18T19:23:00.000+08:00

everyting has changed..
everyone around mi ..
i cant stand it anymore ..
i am real sick .. disgusted ..
y cant peace prevail .. must dere be confilict ..
deception.. lies.. back-stabbing..
these traits so keenly felt ..
i dunno ..
i just cant perform i guess ..
in tis mental state i am gg through ..
i've tired all means and ways ..
just tokin bout can send tears rolling down ..
not tt i dun wan to let go ..
i cant .. maybe in time ..
i've reached a conclusion ..
i shall let time heal ..
i realli dun have the mood to bowl tml ..
after tokin to jm ..
trying to console her..
i felt everyting i said oso imples on mi ..
maybe it is worse ..
i dunno ..
just tt i cant tok like tt to myself ..
i hope i can prove myself wrong ..
i just lack the self believe now ..
everyting now i shall just accept ..
i no longer wanna challenge fate ..
im now at yr mercy ..
im sick .. tired.. and fearfull ..

2006-05-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel i shoud have quit it ...
after that i knew it tings werent as if seems ..
being so naive will not help ...
i cant help it ..
it just wun go away ...
u noe ... i start to hate you ...
u noe i dun usually hate someone ..
so thx .. u are one of the few ..

2006-05-13T23:24:00.000+08:00

the dream ..
how i wishe it was true
those few hrs while my eyes are shut
seemed so real .. yet so untrue ..
wad these past few weeks have been ..
hope i can 4get all when tis finally ends ..
pure fantasy and estacy ..
i need to feel numb ..
numb of these feelings ..
still have to lead my life ..
someting which i have neglected fer some time ..
i dunno where to start ..
so have probs and flaws ..
amazingly i am still alive ..
just fer god to torture mi ..

2006-05-13T00:21:00.000+08:00

how it has passed ...
fly it seems .. like a speedin bullet ...
time i mean ..
finally it draws to a close ..
yup.. its bowlin i mean ..
another 2 weeks and it will be over ..
the fun .. excitement ..
den the sorrow aggitation fear ...
the last training ...
how i had hoped fer tis day to come ..
ironically .. i cant let it go ..
i just hope i can do my best ..
i'll show dem and prove dem wrong ..
my life in sch ..
tis is wad tt made mi like gg to sch ..
still it was the one tt broke up everyting ..
it was a major blow ..
how i'll break down now fer no reason ..
emotionally - unstable ..
yet i have to be strong ...
i cant let down my frens ..
i will not show the weak side of mi again ..
i went to the temple 2day ..
how i have been critizing ...
dere.. i poured my heart out ..
everyting i needed to pray fer ..
wad has made mi like tt ..
the cheerful and fun shaun ...
just a mere shadow now ...
dun even noe y i break down now ..
studies ? her? sch? bowling ? my frens ? my parents ? ..
i dunno .. i will not noe ..
if i die .. dere'll be no ans ..
i feel damm depressed ..
dun need to calm mi down ..
the onli place fer mi to vent my frustrations ..

2006-05-10T21:38:00.000+08:00

the exigency to be wif her

2006-05-08T23:39:00.000+08:00

wc just showed mi someting ..
http://www.paulgoldin.com/colorgenics.htm ..
tot it would be interesting to read ..

2006-05-08T23:35:00.000+08:00

i tot i overcame it ...
sadly however i realised i didnt ...
just a pale contrast of whom i was ...
though quick to get up to my feet ..
but still not dere yet ..
i failed myself miserably 2day ..
such weak mental i have ..
i noe it should not have affected mi ..
but it seems my emotions got the better of mi ..
well .. tts life ...
i have to learn frm my mistakes ..
once i overcome tis ..
i'll get stronger ...
now .. to find back my life ..
my frens .. the old .. and new ...
just like how it was before ..

2006-05-02T18:18:00.000+08:00

haha .. yup .. its exactly a week..
how frm a distance i can see her leading her life ..
while i ... am still drifting listlessly in sch ...
feeling like breakin down everytime i see her ...
it's just totally unfair ..
even god is making fun of mi ..
how loser can i get?
before when we were 2gther ..
trying to see each other in a day was near impossible ..
2day .. i saw her 4 times ...
in morning's enrichment .. canteen .. audi .. and math extra lecture ..
i cant help but turn to look at her ..
hoping she'll turn and look back ...
yet it didnt happen .. nv will it happen ...
even the performance by the SAF "acapella" ..
singing those songs ... i nearly broke ..
i've tried so hard ...
when i manage to get myself bz or 4get bout her ..
she'll just pop up .. or sometings would just remind mi ..
its realli too hard for mi to handle ..
im on the verge of total collaspe ...
wanting to see hold her again - is the perfect understatment

2006-04-30T11:59:00.000+08:00

its already been almost a week ..
everyting seems fine now ...
except for those moments alone ...
i've already tried but it seems to fail ..
i guess it would take a loong time ..
but i do not have much left ..
already 1 week i lost to tis ...
not eating playin studying ..
just crying tinking and reflecting ...
moments where i'll just break down fer no reason ..
shows i've been watchin suddenly makes mi feel numb ..
places i go to .. reminds mi of those times ..
how i wish i could just 4get those tings. ..
y cant i have an accident and lose my memory ..
many questions are left answered- had any been at all ..
these 3 mths have been my happiest in the 2 years ..
now .. i'm left wif more agony and pain ..
sometimes i realli regret my decisions ..
noeing i should not have gone into it ..
my heart just gave in ...
the moments walkin .. holding and huggin yar ..
it seems to linger in my mind everytime i see u ..
already im been tired ..
breaking down .. tinking .. but all comes natually to mi. .
my frens whu were dere to hellp mi up ..
i realli thank you guys ..
whuever u guys are .. u noe it yrselfs ..
i noe i can pick up frm tis ..
im realli trying very hard ..
so pls no lose patience on mi..
all the bothering ...
i'll try to stay cheerful ... happy
tink i need a few more weeks ..
but it will still be part in my haert ..
letting go is never easy ..
it wasnt even easy in the first place..
so here i am ...
i'll try my best ..
not tinkin of her ...
i'll concnetrate on bowling ..
i will win the competiton ..
for myself .. for my frens .. and for her ..
i'll show u tt i can still live without u ..
for the last time ...
i love tis gal called samantha :) - :(